遠慮

• 読み: えんりょ
• ローマ字: enryo
• 漢字の分解: 遠 (far/distant) + 慮 (thought/consideration) → thinking far ahead, holding back out of deep consideration for others
• 発音: /eɴ.ɾʲo/

意味

Holding back out of politeness; showing restraint by declining offers or avoiding imposing on others.

遠慮 is one of the most quintessentially Japanese social behaviors. When offered seconds at dinner, the instinct to 遠慮する (hold back) is deeply ingrained. The host then insists, and after the ritual exchange, you accept. Understanding this dance is essential for navigating Japanese social situations. Excessive 遠慮 can frustrate others, while too little marks you as inconsiderate.

例文

1. 遠慮しないでもっと食べてよ。
2. 最初は遠慮してたけど、結局全部食べちゃった。
3. お言葉に甘えて、遠慮なくいただきます。

使い方ガイド

場面: hospitality, dining, social gatherings, offers and invitations

トーン: polite, modest, restrained

正しい言い方

• お気遣いなく、遠慮しないでください (Please don't hold back, no need to be polite)
• 遠慮がちな性格だからいつも損してる気がする (My reserved personality makes me feel like I always lose out)

避ける言い方

• 遠慮している人に「遠慮するな」と強く言いすぎると逆にプレッシャー (Aggressively telling someone 'don't hold back!' can add more pressure)

よくある間違い

• Taking Japanese people's initial refusal at face value — the first 遠慮 is often a social ritual, not a genuine refusal
• Never showing 遠慮 in Japanese social settings — it can make you seem rude or entitled

起源と歴史

From 遠 (far) + 慮 (consideration) — literally 'far-reaching consideration.' A Confucian-rooted concept emphasising self-restraint and modesty in social interactions. The ritual of offering, declining, and re-offering is a fundamental pattern in Japanese hospitality.

文化的背景

時代: Confucian origins, fundamental Japanese social protocol

世代: All ages

社会的背景: Universal

地域メモ: Used across all of Japan. The offer-decline-insist-accept pattern is one of the most characteristic aspects of Japanese social interaction.