気を遣う

• Reading: きをつかう
• Romaji: ki wo tsukau
• Kanji breakdown: 気 (spirit/energy) + 遣う (to use/employ) → to use mental energy on behalf of others
• Pronunciation: /ki o tsɯ.ka.ɯ/

Meaning

To be considerate of others' feelings; to be mindful and attentive in social situations.

気を遣う describes the active effort of monitoring and responding to others' emotional states. While valued as a social skill, excessive 気遣い can be exhausting. Japanese people often describe social fatigue as 気を遣いすぎて疲れた (tired from being too considerate). It reflects the Japanese emphasis on maintaining smooth interpersonal relationships.

Examples

1. 気を遣いすぎて逆に疲れちゃうタイプなんだよね。 I'm the type who's too considerate of others and it ends up wearing me out.
2. あの人は周りに気を遣える人だから好かれてる。 That person is well-liked because they're good at being considerate of everyone around them.
3. 先輩に気を遣うのは当たり前だけど、度が過ぎると大変。 Being considerate of your seniors is expected, but going overboard with it is exhausting.

Usage Guide

Context: workplace, social situations, relationships, self-reflection

Tone: considerate, sometimes weary

Do Say

• そんなに気を遣わなくていいよ、楽にして (You don't have to be so considerate, relax)
• 気を遣ってくれてありがとう (Thanks for being so thoughtful)

Don't Say

• 気を遣うのをやめろと命令するのは逆効果 (Ordering someone to stop being considerate usually has the opposite effect — they worry more)

Common Mistakes

• Confusing 気を遣う (considerate) with 気をつける (be careful) — similar but different nuances
• Not understanding that 気を遣う can be both a compliment and a source of exhaustion depending on degree

Origin & History

From 気 (spirit/mind/energy) + 遣う (to use/send). Literally 'to use one's ki (mental energy)' for others. Reflects the deep cultural expectation of being attuned to others' needs without being asked.

Cultural Context

Era: Classical concept, integral to Japanese social interaction

Generation: All ages

Social background: Universal

Regional notes: Used across all of Japan. One of the most commonly discussed social expectations in Japanese culture.