见外

• Pinyin: jiàn wài
• Hanzi breakdown: 见 = to see, regard as; 外 = 夕 (evening) + 卜 (divination) — outside

Meaning

To be overly formal; to treat as an outsider; too polite. Being unnecessarily distant or formal with someone close.

Used when someone is being too polite or formal in a relationship where closeness is expected. Often said as a mild reproach to encourage someone to be less formal. Common in Chinese culture where close relationships are marked by informality rather than excessive politeness.

Examples

1. 我们这么多年的朋友了，你跟我还见外什么？ We've been friends for so many years, why are you being so formal with me?
2. 来我家就别见外了，当自己家一样。 Don't be so polite when you come to my house, treat it like your own home.
3. 她总是跟婆婆很见外，说话客客气气的。 She's always quite formal with her mother-in-law, speaking in a very polite manner.

Usage Guide

Context: social, family, friendship

Tone: warm

Do Say

• 别见外，有什么需要尽管说。(Don't be so formal, just say if you need anything.)
• 你太见外了，快把钱收起来。(You're being too polite, put that money away.)

Don't Say

• 对初次见面的人说'别见外' (Don't tell someone you just met 别见外 — it's only appropriate for people you already have a close relationship with)

Origin & History

Composed of 见 (to see/treat as) + 外 (outside). Literally means treating someone as an outsider rather than as close family or friends.

Cultural Context

Generation: All ages

Social background: Universal