恩着せがましい
의미: Guilt-tripping by constantly reminding someone of past favours; making someone feel obligated by emphasising what you've done for them.
恩着せがましい describes the weaponisation of 恩 — using past kindness as leverage to control or manipulate. While 恩 itself is respected, being 恩着せがましい is universally disliked. It appears in family conflicts (parents reminding children of sacrifices), workplace dynamics (bosses leveraging past favours), and friendships.
예문
- 恩着せがましく「あの時助けてあげたのに」って言われると冷める。 被人一副施恩的样子说'当初可是我帮了你'，真让人寒心。Cuando te dicen con tono de reproche «y yo que te ayudé aquella vez...», se te quitan las ganas.은혜를 내세우듯 '그때 도와줬잖아'라고 하면 마음이 식어.
- 恩着せがましい上司のせいで断れない仕事が増えた。 因为上司总是挟恩图报，推不掉的工作越来越多了。Por culpa de un jefe que hace chantaje emocional, cada vez tengo más trabajo que no puedo rechazar.은혜 갚으라는 듯한 상사 때문에 거절 못 하는 일이 늘었어.
- プレゼントするのはいいけど、恩着せがましくしないでよ。 送礼物可以，但别一副施恩的嘴脸好不好。Está bien hacer regalos, pero no me vengas luego echándomelo en cara.선물하는 건 좋은데, 은혜 내세우지는 마.
발음
/oɴ.ki.se.ɡa.ma.ɕi.i/
사용 가이드
맥락: relationship complaints, family conflicts, workplace frustration, character criticism
어조: critical, frustrated, annoyed
✓ 올바른 표현
- 恩着せがましい言い方しないでくれる？ (Could you stop saying it in that guilt-tripping way?)能不能别用那种挟恩图报的语气说话？（Could you stop saying it in that guilt-tripping way?）¿Podrías dejar de decirlo de esa manera que parece un reproche?은혜 내세우는 식으로 말하지 말아 줄래? (Could you stop saying it in that guilt-tripping way?)
- 親切は嬉しいけど恩着せがましいのは困る (Kindness is welcome but guilt-tripping is not)你的好意我很感激，但别老拿来说事（Kindness is welcome but guilt-tripping is not）Agradezco la amabilidad, pero que me lo echen en cara es un problema.친절은 고맙지만 은혜를 내세우는 건 곤란해 (Kindness is welcome but guilt-tripping is not)
✗ 잘못된 표현
- 本当に助けてくれた人に「恩着せがましい」と言うのは恩知らず (Calling someone genuinely helpful 恩着せがましい makes you the ungrateful one)对真心帮过你的人说'你也太挟恩图报了'，那你才是忘恩负义（Calling someone genuinely helpful 恩着せがましい makes you the ungrateful one）Llamar «chantajista emocional» a alguien que de verdad te ayudó te convierte a ti en el desagradecido.진심으로 도와준 사람한테 '은혜 내세운다'고 하는 건 오히려 배은망덕이다 (Calling someone genuinely helpful 恩着せがましい makes you the ungrateful one)
흔한 실수
- Confusing expressing gratitude with being 恩着せがましい — the latter specifically means the helper is reminding you of the debt, not you acknowledging it
- Using this long adjective incorrectly — make sure the accusation fits, as it is a strong negative character judgment
기원과 역사
From 恩 (favour) + 着せる (to wear/impose) + がましい (seeming like, having the appearance of). Literally 'seeming to impose favours' — the unpleasant behaviour of making others feel indebted.
문화적 배경
Era: Long-standing character criticism within 恩 culture
Generation: All ages
Social background: Universal
Regional notes: Used across all of Japan. Particularly common in discussions about toxic family dynamics and workplace manipulation.
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