しきたり
Meaning: Unwritten customs and traditions passed down through generations — the 'this is how it's always been done' social rules.
しきたり covers the vast array of social customs that have no legal backing but carry enormous social weight. From how to wrap money for weddings versus funerals, to the order of pouring drinks, to how to greet neighbours when moving in — these are rules everyone is expected to know but nobody explicitly teaches. Younger generations increasingly find some しきたり outdated or burdensome, creating generational tension.
Examples
- 田舎のしきたりが厳しくて嫁は大変だよ。 乡下的老规矩太严格了,嫁过去可辛苦了。Las costumbres del pueblo son tan estrictas que la nuera lo pasa fatal.시골의 しきたり(관습)가 엄격해서 며느리는 힘들어.
- 古いしきたりを守るべきか変えるべきか難しいところだ。 该保留还是改变老传统,真是个难题。Es difícil decidir si hay que mantener las viejas costumbres o cambiarlas.오래된 しきたり를 지켜야 할지 바꿔야 할지 어려운 문제야.
- 冠婚葬祭のしきたりが多すぎて覚えられない。 红白喜事的规矩太多了,根本记不住。Hay tantas costumbres para bodas y funerales que es imposible recordarlas todas.冠婚葬祭(관혼상제)의 しきたり가 너무 많아서 다 외울 수 없어.
Pronunciation
/ɕi.ki.ta.ri/
Usage Guide
Context: family events, community, cultural discussions
Tone: traditional, sometimes burdensome
✓ Do Say
- 地域のしきたりには一応従っておくか (I guess I'll follow the local customs for now)当地的老规矩还是先入乡随俗吧(地方风俗姑且还是遵守一下吧)地域のしきたりには一応従っておくか (Supongo que seguiré las costumbres locales por si acaso)地域のしきたりには一応従っておくか (일단 지역 관습에는 따르자)
- 時代に合わないしきたりは見直すべき (Customs that don't fit the times should be reconsidered)不合时代的老规矩应该重新审视(不符合时代的传统规矩应该重新考量)時代に合わないしきたりは見直すべき (Las costumbres que no encajan con los tiempos deberían revisarse)時代に合わないしきたりは見直すべき (시대에 맞지 않는 관습은 재고해야 해)
✗ Don't Say
- 義理の家族の前で「このしきたり意味ない」は禁句 (Saying 'this custom is meaningless' in front of in-laws is forbidden)在公婆面前说'这个规矩没意义'是大忌(在婆家人面前说'这个传统没意义'是禁忌)義理の家族の前で「このしきたり意味ない」は禁句 (Decir «esta costumbre no tiene sentido» delante de la familia política es una frase prohibida)義理の家族の前で「このしきたり意味ない」は禁句 (시댁/처가 앞에서 '이 관습 의미 없다'는 금기어다)
Common Mistakes
- Ignoring しきたり in formal situations like weddings and funerals — even if you disagree, violating them causes serious offence
- Confusing しきたり with law — these are social customs, not legal requirements
Origin & History
From しきたる (to come by custom), a verb meaning 'to have been done this way for a long time.' The term encompasses unwritten social rules accumulated over generations in Japanese communities.
Cultural Context
Era: Ancient, continually passed down and debated
Generation: All ages, increasingly debated by younger generations
Social background: Universal, stronger in rural and traditional families
Regional notes: Used across all of Japan. Rural areas tend to have stronger and more numerous しきたり than urban centres.
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