High maintenance
Meaning: A person who requires a lot of attention, effort, money, or emotional support in a relationship.
Someone who is high maintenance has high expectations — they want frequent texts, expensive gifts, constant compliments, and specific standards met. It's almost always used as a criticism, especially toward women, though anyone can be high maintenance. The term sparks debate about whether having standards is 'high maintenance' or just knowing your worth.
Examples
- She's so high maintenance — nothing is ever good enough for her. 她太难伺候了——做什么她都不满意。Es muy exigente: nada es nunca lo suficientemente bueno para ella.彼女はすごく手がかかるタイプ——何をしても満足しないんだよ。그녀는 정말 손이 많이 가는 타입이야 — 뭘 해줘도 만족을 못 해.
- I know I'm high maintenance, but at least I know what I want. 我知道自己很难伺候,但至少我清楚自己要什么。Sé que soy muy exigente, pero al menos sé lo que quiero.自分が手がかかるタイプだってわかってるけど、少なくとも自分が何を求めてるかわかってるから。내가 손이 많이 가는 타입인 건 알지만, 적어도 내가 뭘 원하는지는 알거든.
- Dating someone high maintenance is exhausting if you're not ready for the effort. 和难伺候的人谈恋爱很累人,除非你做好了付出的准备。Salir con alguien muy exigente es agotador si no estás preparado/a para el esfuerzo.手がかかる人と付き合うのは、その努力を覚悟してないと疲れるよ。손이 많이 가는 사람과 사귀는 건, 그 노력을 감당할 준비가 안 되어 있으면 지치는 일이야.
Pronunciation
Usage Guide
Context: dating descriptions, relationship complaints, self-awareness
Tone: critical, sometimes self-aware
✓ Do Say
- She admits she's high maintenance.她承认自己很难伺候。Ella reconoce que es muy exigente.彼女は自分がハイメンテナンスだって認めてるよ。그녀는 자기가 손이 많이 가는 타입이라는 걸 인정해.
- High maintenance and high standards aren't the same thing.难伺候和有高标准是两码事。Ser exigente y tener estándares altos no es lo mismo.ハイメンテナンスと高い基準を持つことは同じじゃないよ。하이 메인터넌스와 높은 기준은 같은 게 아니야.
✗ Don't Say
- Using 'high maintenance' to dismiss someone's legitimate needs is dismissive and often sexist用'难伺候'来否定别人的正当需求是不尊重人的,而且往往带有性别歧视Usar «high maintenance» para desestimar las necesidades legítimas de alguien es despectivo y a menudo sexista相手の正当なニーズを退けるために「ハイメンテナンス」を使うのは見下しであり、しばしば性差別的'하이 메인터넌스'를 써서 상대의 정당한 필요를 무시하는 것은 경시하는 태도이며 종종 성차별적이다
Origin & History
Like 'low maintenance,' borrowed from mechanical language. The relationship usage was cemented by 'When Harry Met Sally' (1989) and has been a staple of American dating vocabulary ever since.
Cultural Context
Era: 1990s onward
Generation: All ages
Social background: Universal
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